Doom & Gloom Meet The Sun

Doom and gloom, the clouds roll in
A mind executing an act of searching will be had
Feeling sweet, feeling soft
Feeling bruised, feeling forgotten
It is not new
This is not new.

This eye finds the sky to be purple, where the air is cold, where the ground is damp, where what is worn brings comfort, where the ears can hear the chimes released by the mouths sought.

I understand time passes as it does, and nothing can speed it up, so in the meantime I will take my seat at the station, waiting for the train.

You could place fliers wherever you would like, though I find that this is not guaranteed to deliver these wants what they need.
They are left unmarked, and it is to be accepted with a patient heart.

Now, I am no doctor, I do not see the heart as it stands, beating in the chest of a being, nor am I qualified to dig inside and see for myself, it is all felt in the moment, and when it is shown to not be the case any-longer, the carrier can leave as it pleases.

With the time dancing through the cold air, I will refine my search.
One seat is occupied, and that brings joy, and also a lot of stress in many areas, this is expected and is not a cause for concern.
Though the distance had when finalised notes are notarised has me setting location based requirements, decreasing the count significantly.

The mood is not sour; I’ve not a single lemon or lime on me to even simulate such sourness had in this space as an invisible being, and truthfully I prefer it this way.
It is understood that not every box can be checked, even when blood is shared, and that often beats a soul into thinking they are not to be as themselves, though I beg to differ!
The blood your are born into having shall not stand as a marker of the self, it shall not dictate the state of being, nor the marker of which is allowed to be explored by you.

What is had in mind, the way of viewing these things is quite important to me, for those residing on the train.
An understanding of the malleability of the mind, the influence one can have on such.
It should not be hard to understand, considering what is had in dire circumstances, where one can execute an action not typically accepted by them; it is a matter of understanding, refining, and marking steps.
Though I find that such a thought is quite scandalous!
Souls fearing those having such in the mind.
It is understandable, though.
Living beings are to be feared collectively.
And an eye catching such a thought living in someone who appears to care not for a single soul outside of themselves warrants fear in each watcher.

Though I find that in fear we often run when we have the ability to ask and understand.
This is not to say that such fleeing is to be looked down upon, of course not!
Though I find that what is wanted in such a moment is more so individual based, and that makes it rather difficult for the subjects intentions to be seen.
But, it is said to be best to play it safe, and I suppose that is what is done.

I find that I seek chaotic normalcy.
The given ID, as well as the assigned location makes this existence quite lonely for others with such a state of being.
Though, I feel it necessary to remind each soul having such life lines flowing through them, that despite the feeling of loneliness, these times allow connecting in various ways.
In allowing myself to understand and believe this, I have started searching for such, it is my sole reason for being social in the first place, as I do not mind my silence, nor the space around of which is also quiet.

Often times, we believe that one step will lead to everything sought, and it is not very true, the focus on what is wanted is important, but so is the understanding that each step forward is a piece of the final puzzle, and when it feels like you are done, this puzzle can extend itself.
It is then understood why so many give up the search, as it feels fruitless; I found myself heading back and pulling puzzle tiles up as I went, though it just so happened that the train arrived as soon as I decided to stand.
Patience gets a being very far.
I have learned this.

It is often mistaken, that patience cannot be learned, cannot be had where it did not formerly exist.
Humans are flexible, we can adapt, we convince ourselves that certain changes are not possible, that only certain people are capable of change blah blah, it is not true, though I find that I was once a holder of such a thought, it was the originator of my self created misery.

I have a long wait ahead of me, a lot of motion to put into place, as well as a ton of reading to do when it comes to greeting the souls sought, though the time being without a definite marker, I have vowed to continue my search as I find it to be worthwhile.
And ultimately, the changes wanted comes down to that -­­ A change has to be wanted, an understanding for why it is wanted has to be defined and burned into the memory as it often goes flying out of the mind when discomfort is met.

Alongside these things, there has to be an understanding of exactly what is wanted, and the steps towards them are to be marked for reassurance when the thoughts of progress-less actions are had.
Allowing for space, as well as time for correction, lots of maintenance in those areas, it is essentially caring for a child, though I find that we often do not hold such patience for ourselves. Some would be willing to spend hours teaching actions to a child, but will quickly grow frustrated in doing so for themselves.

Teach yourself as you’d teach another.
I have found that to be the best way to build patience, as well as to know exactly what I want and need to do.
There will be times where it will not come to you as quickly, this is yet another skill builder for patience.
I believe that we are not built for any specific way of living, though we definitely can be aware of which feels best.
I have no care for the lot of convenience that greets me in the waking days, not when it is a direct fork of exploited endeavours.

My eyes have become set on the slow movement had in the times passed. Though we are quite flexible, and in such we can grow to find the current measure to be the most desired.

It is the current norm, to care too much for the instant gratification, we cannot wait for much, and it is quite scary.
This is not to say, “Return to the old ways!”, no, I think we often forget that grey is an area to be walked on, a modern day take on old methods is possible, though I digress enormously.

It all simmers down to such a thought in me being “seeking what is had, what is wanted, in that of a soul outside the self” and it is something that takes up a great deal of my time.

For anyone who has read my thoughts thrown to pixelated text, I thank you and to those that have not, I also thank you, though it misses your awareness.
Be well, take care!
I am steps closer to true self expressed words and it feels quite lovely.
I wish for lovely feelings to be had for you, too.

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